The Year in Wrestling 1991: Bad Gimmicks

After being systematically humiliated and fired by Vince McMahon in 1990, Dusty Rhodes was a bitter, bitter man. The WWF took a wrestling LEGEND and turned him into nothing more than a silly cartoon character. Apparently, Dusty wanted to beat Vince at his own game, so the month of June saw what seemed to be DOZENS of corny gimmick-heavy wrestlers introduced to the WCW roster. Almost all of the gimmicks took an EXCELLENT wrestler and turned them into a joke. Examples include:

Black Blood - Actually pronounced "Black Blewd" by Gary Michael Cappeta, this superstar was actually much more than a wrestler... he was an EXECUTIONER. He wore a black hood (pronounced "hewd") to the ring and carried a heavy plastic axe. In theory, he carried the axe to the ring to DECAPITATE his hapless opponent, but for some reason security never seemed terribly concerned. Black Blood didn't talk, but instead screamed such profound statements as "BLARGH!!!!" and "GRAAAFFF." The put the final icing on the cake, Black Blood would put the BLACK HOOD OF DECAPITATION on his previously mentioned hapless opponent before hitting his deathly finisher... the standard elbow drop of DEATH. The poor guy picked to play the part of the illiterate executioner: Billy Jack Haynes.

The Diamond Studd - If you crossed Ravishing Rick Rude with Al Pacino (Scarface version), you'd have WCW's Diamond Studd. Managed by none other than a debuting Diamond Dallas Page (who was nothing more than a manager at the time), the Diamond Studd wore silly diamond vests and tights and corny sunglasses. One lucky lady would be allowed to come to the ring and strip The Studd of his pull-away chaps as he spieled hokey jargon about coming from the "Diamond Mine." The only redeeming factor of the character was his AWESOME finisher, The Diamond Death Drop. It was basically a cooler version of the Undertrucker's "Last Ride," with a farther lay out and more impact. The poor sap picked to play The Diamond Studd: Scott Hall.

PN News - Quite possibly the lamest gimmick of the bunch, PN News: The Rapmaster. Imagine a 350 pound white man with a mullet and big sideburns... Now imagine him "rapping" while throwing his arms wildly about in a decidedly "hip hoppin" fashion. I'm not a very critical guy, but my God, PN's raps nearly brought me to tears of laughter at an age when I was supposed to be a good mark and accept him as legit. His most common rap... "My name is News, And I'm on the Attack. Bring the Sucker In, Let me Lay Him on his Back." YO BABY, YO BABY, YO. I SAY! YO BABY, YO BABY, YO." The man had obviously never rapped in his entire life and was so TERRIBLE at it that the gimmick lasted only a matter of months. The man behind PN News: Paul Neu.

Oz - Without a doubt, one of the top five worst gimmick is WCW history. Oz would actually be much higher if it weren't for Yetti and the Scorpion, but hey, competition's tough when it comes to the absolute shit associated with WCW during certain time periods. Anyway, the backstory of Oz:

Ted Turner had recently acquired the television rights to the CLASSIC movie musical The Wizard of Oz, and decided it would be a good idea if that "Rasslin' company he owned" would come up with a good way to help promote the movie. Dusty Rhodes LOVED the idea. If you look up "wrong place at the wrong time" in the dictionary, you will undoubtedly come across a picture of Kevin Nash. It was decided that Nash would be IDEAL for this ridiculous concept, so he was bestowed with the honor of shilling the 60+ year old movie.

So how did they promote the movie without ruining the credibility of Nash you ask ? Did they have him come out and blatantly shill the film ? Did they have him recite excerpts from the movie before his matches ? Of course not silly mark... They built a corny cardboard skyline of "Oz", hired actors to play the parts of Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion, and dressed Kevin Nash up as the GRAND WIZARD OF OZ. To make matters worse, they had him come out with a shriveled subservient wizard and tiny, squirrel-like monkeys wearing diapers. The whole thing resembled a fourth grade Halloween party. The WCW creative team must not have wanted to hire a makeup artist, so they apparently just said "Fuck it, just put them all in silly rubber masks." That's exactly what they did.

So to sum things up, WCW decided to take one of the most marketable big men they have EVER had, put him in a Halloween costume, spray paint his hair silver, and have him babysit monkeys who could barely refrain from shitting all over themselves at any given moment, as the subservient wizard (I've heard he was played by Kevin Sullivan, but don't hold me to that) would mutter such eerie catchphrases as, "Welcome to Oz! Welcome to Oz! Don't be Afraid!" It was never really established which side of the heel/face fence he was straddling, so the fans never really knew whether to cheer for him or to boo him, therefore they just kind of sat on their hands and laughed at "Big Sexy."